AND IT'S YOU! AND IT'S NOW!

A while back, I was in my then-not-quite-boyfriend's room watching a few movies. Some anime, and my brand new volumes of Invader Zim, mostly. Some time later, around, oh, say, 2-ish in the morning, Matt(the boyfriend)'s roomate, Ben, makes his grand re-entrance.

Matt stopped the movie, and jumped off the bed to say hi to Ben. Ben seemed quite cheery, and even seemed completely in control. He left the room, to brush his teeth, presumably. Matt turns around, and insists that he could have gotten drunk just SMELLING Ben.

Ben returned shortly after and proceeded to just undress, removing a peice of duct tape from his heel as well. He then told us that he was planning on reading his book, because it was about betrayal. Betrayal, he insisted, was interesting because it was something only humans feel, and Ben, for one, liked reading about things that only humans feel... like betrayal.

Right then.

So, Matt and I returned to the movie, thinking nothing of Ben and his betrayal.

Until he started reading aloud. We blinked at him a few times, but let it go. He talked to himself for a while, then suddenly turned to us, and pointed, screaming "YOU MUST!"

Understandably a little shocked, Matt and I asked him what it was that we "must."

"YOU MUST go see the International at the Carnegie."

Matt attempted to sooth him.

"Yeah, I was actually thinking about going to see tha-"

"NO! Not think! Not want! MUST!"

"Oh. OK, then..."

"Because you're sitting there, and you're thinking, 'Wow, this is now. And this is me. And this is them. And this is now.' I sat in front of it for 3 hours today."

"Oh."

"Because it's YOU! And it's NOW! And it's US! And it's THEM!"

"Ok, Ben."

"YOU! US! THEM!"

*****

Several weeks later, Matt and I decided that we would go see this wonderous thing, as we had wanted to before we were informed that it was "US" and "NOW."

The art on display ran from comics to sculpture to video and even included an installation. Some peices didn't do anything at all for me, others were nice to stare at for a few moments, but really had a hard time holding me. But others, like the sculptures made of paint, glue and random household objects and toys, I spent some real time examining. I wasn't sure what made me stare at the baby doll dripped in purple paint, but I was really intrigued.


My comeplete favorite was the Tsunami Mural on the wall in the reception area. Done by a Japanese artist, the mural contains a giant fire spirit, a wall of water, and various other sprites and people. The art style was entirely to my liking and I honestly yelled that I wanted to take the piece home. I would have happily sat in front of it for a long time.

The installation peice had everything from quilts to a toilet, straw and what looked like an airplane engine. Even with little quirks, it seemed almost comfortable. I almost sat down and just enjoyed it, but was afraid of cameras or hidden security people in the walls.

All in all, it was quite an experience to say the least. Matt and I enjoyed it, but we weren't sure if it was US and NOW and THEM. But people keep asking, since the most Existential Drunk Man Ever seems to think it held a grip on his soul.


When he woke up, he asked what had happened to his duct tape.

Physics Will Make You Tired

In the weeks before leaving Campus, I attended the Freshman Lecture on "Why the Universe Is Shaped the Way It Is." A friend of mine, Austin, accompanied me. (And I just now remembered the ticket sitting in the pocket of my hoodie.)

Austin's original hope was to grab the ticket and leave, but the presenters had expected this, and told us they wouldn't be available until the end, and that we weren't permitted to leave early for any reason. I was getting the feeling that we were not in store for something at all entertaining. Austin had a mask of terror and panic from the moment he stepped inside.

Our speaker, who's name I can not find but will surely put back in here as soon as I do, was someone our introduction woman told us we should be "honored to have," and began singing his praises. Finally, it was our actual speakers turn to impress us.

He fired up a Power Point Presentation.

God, no.

He began to speak, and before he had a chance to impress me, I was counting everything he was doing wrong that was going to drown us all swiftly in a sea of lethargy, including how many times he could end a sentence with "Ok?." It was like a check list right out of the "Cognitive Style of Power Point."

I had high hopes coming in, but when only one of his (completely recited!) slides had anything to do with how the universe is shaped, let alone WHY, I lost all faith in the presentation. There was evidence that his speaking style was supposed to NOT make us feel like stupid freshmen, but he bored us all. We all left sort of confused and with throbbing brains.

I thought, certainly, if they were offering it to Freshmen, that they would attempt to make even Physics interesting. My bad.

What Happened to Kindergarten? ~ My Major

"I really want to take Japanese in college."

"Oh, are you going into business?"

"No..."

"A translator then, you want to be a translator!"

"No, actually, I want to be a comic book artist."

"Then, why the Japanese?"

"I just want to know it."

I can't count how many times I've had this conversation. It seems to be programmed into anyone asking about college to assume that everything a student takes is directly related to what they want to do with life. What happened to learning just to learn? When did learning become something that I was no longer allowed to enjoy? I was pretty sure they told me that was alright in Kindergarten, and everything I learned there, you know, all that sharing and "Please, Thank you" stuff, seems to still be applicable. I'm paying to be here, so shouldn't I be getting what I want?

I want to major in Japanese. But, no, I have no interest in business, or working for the UN. I just want to learn the language, and a desire to do something, regardless of its affect or relevance to your future plans, should always be important. I'm not one to live according to what is expected of me, or what is deemed "normal." If I want to learn Japanese and German, but draw pictures later on in life, then that should be perfectly fine. It is rare to find a person who will pay for something they don't want in any other circumstance, but college seems to be an exception.

Too often, I hear conversations like:
"What are you here for?"

"Oh, medicine."

"Ah, you want to be a doctor?"

"No, my mom wants me to."

I hope that, soon, the rest of the college world sees why they're here. If you want to be a doctor, wonderful, do it. If you want to just draw pictures and know some languages on the side, then that should be completely ok, too. You're paying for it. If you want a Japanese and German sandwich, you shouldn't be paying for Business Burrito. However, if you honestly do have a desire for that burrito...

I feel strongly about language, and I feel strongly about drawing. I want to have someone teach me the languages and I'm willing to pay for it, so here I am. Japanese fascinates me, and I find it enjoyable. I like to learn it. Hopefully, somewhere, other people are starting to remember learning for fun too, and then we can all go back to Kindergarten.

Have fun in life, do what you love, and say "Please" and "Thank you."

Completely Useless Post ~ Technology Greatly Dislikes Me

Just for the record, I'd like to note that I hate technology.

No, really.

I love all the things technolgy can do for me, and I would probably have far less to do (and far less fat) without it.

So, I guess I don't hate it all the time. Just when it makes my life miserable, that's all. Yeah, pretty much. I'm fairly sure Yahoo Mail is out to kill me, or has purchased my soul on some horrible black market slave-soul trading thing. It takes some sort of great sadistic pleasure in keeping my e-mails for a few days, or weeks, and then spewing them out later and seeing what my reaction is.

"Oh, it seems there's been a change in her homework assignment, let's make sure this one isn't seen for 2 weeks."

"Hey, check that one out! It asks about when she's going to meet up with some people for a math session! She doesn't need this one for another 6 days!"

Other technology-type things like to hate me too. CD players often enjoy chewing on my CD's, Gameboys and Cell Phones lose battery power at horribly inconvienent times... it's just fantastic, let me tell you.

So that's it. Just wanted to rant about that for a while, as technolgy is the reason that certain grades of mine in certain classes are sucking.

I rather greatly dislike you, technology. Really.